Thursday, November 3, 2011

Today - 11/3

This morning I woke up to a checking account that, for the first time in many months, has not been depleted due to overdrafts.  This is a HUGE thing for me and such a good feeling.  I am a little stressed though because that money IS there.  It's such a temptation.  I'm afraid to go grocery shopping today.  But it's something I have to do.  I can't avoid it.  I have a list, but I still tend to stray from that list.  I will continue to pray for strength today to avoid the temptation.  THERE IS NOTHING EXTRA I NEED. 
I'm still living in a fog of vagueness, underearning, and overspending......but I have made a conscious decision to just stop, with the help of God.  I got on my knees and turned it over to Him.  I cannot do this alone any longer.
But I'm so overwhelmed with where to start.  I have a personality deficiency of immediate gratification.  I want it now.  I want immediate results.  It's what got me into this mess to begin with.  But it's not about me anymore.  It's about my family and the example that I'm setting for my daughters.  I don't want them, in 30 years, to be sitting in this same exact place.  The only difference is that I won't be able to help them out the way my parents have helped me out.
So, some small steps.
1.  I now keep a small notebook with my wallet.  Receipts and every cent spent gets written down.
2.  We have opened a savings account in my husband's name only.  All his extra pay will be deposited into this account. 
For today I will pray for strength not to debt.