A bit of a brain dump this morning....
* I have not left the house since the day before New Year's Eve. Realistically, I know I can't hole myself up and watch the world go by. But I feel accomplished because I have not compulsively shopped since then either. I am deleting all the "shopping" emails that come into my mailbox. I have thrown away catalogs. I have not yet taken the step to throw away the coupons that I get from the craft stores. Crafting keeps me sane and is much cheaper than therapy. However, I have a tendency to go overboard with supplies.
* My checking account is overdrawn - again. I can't get a handle on my numbers yet until I know exactly what I'm dealing with. I probably have to wait another day or two to wait for the dust to settle and then revisit that checking account and start from scratch.
* On the upside of having an overdrawn account -- I am learning that I can do without and that I can be creative -- both with spending time with my girls and my family and with my grocery budget. This morning I went through my freezer and made a list of everything in there. I probably have a month's worth of food in there. And I haven't even gone through the deep freezer in our garage yet.
* Last night, I couldn't sleep. Worries over money kept me awake and practically in tears all night. I happened to come across an episode of Dr. Phil that I taped yesterday. It was about watching your money. How ironic, I thought. So many things they mentioned, I can do. Some things I already do. It inspired me to challenge myself more.
* I received a number of gift cards for Christmas. I'm hoarding them. I don't know why. I have no need for new clothes or jewelry. I will probably hold on to them and buy my girls school clothes and/or summer clothes with them. I received 2 Starbucks gift cards. I haven't had a Starbucks in weeks -- and I resist using them. I have a Safeway grocery card for $25 that I'm holding on to for an "emergency". My brother sent my girls $50 each in a Toys R Us gift card. Hubby and I decided to put those away until next Christmas. They've already received so many toys and other items -- we'll just use them for next Christmas's gifts.
* I set up two automatic bill payments over the past few days. One for our cell phone and one for our internet. Both were at a $0 balance, so at least I'm starting fresh with those. Still need to set up the cable, water, and electric.
* Yesterday I started a "Reading the Bible in 90 Days" program. I have been on this faith journey for awhile -- trying to give up the control and put my faith and trust in God. In the past 24+ hours since I've started the program, every where I look, I find words of encouragement and faith - whether it's on Facebook, an email from a friend or just something I come across. It is encouraging me.
Slowly....one day at a time. I didn't get in this mess overnight, and it's not going to go away overnight either.
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