Journaling: Day 5 - Weekly Recap (10/30)

So - just some random money posts this morning.  Just some recollection over the past week - how I succeeded and how I failed.  I hope to keep posting like this every Friday.

This morning I checked out my bank balance online.  I'm not happy with the balance at the moment - but that's ok.  I'm still in the black - barely - but we're in the black.  Normally, my initial instinct would be to go to the bank this morning, withdrawal a large amount of cash.  See, my bank has this great thing called overdraft protection.  (And please know that I say "great thing" with great sarcasm.  It's just yet another tool that enables me to continue this awful cycle.)  So, I could withdraw money - making myself feel secure knowing that I had cash on hand.  But not thinking about the negative bank balance and the fees the bank would charge me.  Which would be taken from the next pay deposited.  Again - a vicious, vicious cycle.  But this morning - I have no desire to do that.  I desire, instead, to have faith that I can make it through - WITHOUT putting myself in the red.

Today I need to go grocery shopping and pick up a few groceries that will last us through the next payday which is this upcoming Thursday.  I have a small list -- one that I am determined to stick to.  While I usually do stick to my list - there's always a few "extras" that I end up throwing the cart.

Last week I paid my library fines - which were pretty big.  I have been paying them off a little at a time (yes, they were that big) and still had a bit to go.  But I made the decision to pay them all off -- and I'm so glad I did.  When the urge to buy books hit me hard over the past few days, I just went to the library and put the book on hold.  I missed going to the library and I missed taking the girls.  I felt so ashamed of what I owed and felt that everyone was looking at me when I would walk in -- knowing how much I owed.  But last week, I walked in there with my girls -- and we had a blast!

Last night I packaged up a bunch of books to mail for Paperback Swap.  Lots of credits coming my way!  Which means lots of books that I can order when the urge to shop strikes.  I had a certain amount of postage left in my account to ship.  Normally I would go ahead and just order more postage and not think about if I could afford it or not.  But last night - when it was gone, it was gone.  I emailed the other people waiting for books to explain that it would be another week before I could ship and why.  All were very understanding and accommodating.

I also spent a lot of time listing items for sale on eBay.  My intention is to use that money to buy Christmas and birthday gifts and continue to pay down our MY debt -- one dollar at a time.

This past week has been amazing.  I didn't have our car since My Marine took my Jeep to work.  His car is on it's last legs and we're trying not to drive it so much.  Anyway - with not having a vehicle available to me, I spent the week home with my girls.  We painted, we made playdough, we colored, we played, we read stories.  It also taught me that I CAN avoid spending.  That I am capable of not giving in to the urge.

And THAT alone was worth more than anything any money could buy.